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Mental health was a taboo thing to talk about seriously when I was preparing for my HSC exams. You can joke about it, but sharing upfront to someone else that you weren’t coping well with what English Advanced, Maths Advanced, Chemistry, Biology and many more was throwing at you didn’t feel like the right thing to do.
For example, English was one of the subjects that intensely stressed me out during HSC. I went to year 12 English tutoring, did work after school for hours on end and yet somehow it never felt like enough. I slept even worse than I did before, got moody at everyone and the worst of all, my grades didn’t even improve that much. I wasn’t aware of it, but I trained myself to be unsatisfied with anything in life, even a good mark. So how can we grow as people even during such an intense period of our lives?
The truth about the ‘grindset’ about Grades in High School
There was, and is, this very popular idea in High School that admitting that your mark is good means you’ve ‘given up’ and that you always have to be in a state of ‘my mark is not good enough’ in order to do your best. However, what no one shares with the classroom is the crushing pressure and anxiety that is embedded within this mentality, and the damage it does to our mental health even after the ATAR drops.
Even with wellbeing programs in place to support students who are suffering just like this (and I know there are a lot out there), the change in mentality must ultimately come from inside. For most people, the harsh truth is that living well is mutually exclusive with this toxic, constant grind mentality - I doubt anyone can classify their life as great if they’re doing 10 past papers a day and neglecting their body, happiness and loved ones. And to those finding happiness in this competition - what happens after high school? It won’t fuel you forever, so finding happiness and gratefulness in the things you already have goes the extra mile for sustainable wellbeing.
For me, just like most students, I based my self-worth on grades. A 2002 University of Michigan study found that 80% of students based their own self worth on their academic ability. Before marks came out would be the worst time for me. I grew anxious, and my head felt like it was going to explode with the potential catastrophic mark I may receive. I’d crawl through UAC’s scaling report, and lament about why I didn’t pick Maths Extension 2. Matrix’s ATAR calculator was a good one to set yourself up for disappointment. If this sounds familiar to you, it probably does to a lot of other people too. In hindsight, looking back at all this suffering, I regret deeply that I wasn’t able to love High School for the wonderful times I spent there. Instead, I got caught up in unnecessary stress, and threw wellbeing to the wind.
If I can go back and do everything again, I would promise myself to actively work on not exacerbating anxiety in High School, and instead focus on what I can control (our actions, reactions and character)
Deciding for yourself how you want to live
People living in the high mountains of the Himalayas are specially adapted to the lack of oxygen there. When they come down from the mountain, they realise how much oxygen is actually available. This obtuse metaphor is exactly how I felt after High School. After scrambling for a course and going to university, on one sunny day I realised that I had so much choice in what I want to do in the future. And the most incredulous thing was, I had this same ability a year ago when it was about to be HSC, and yet I’ve been so reticent to the fact.
When you can focus less on other people and more on yourself, you can find something you want to truly pursue as a career and bring you satisfaction. Removing yourself from social standards is so empowering, and it is akin to waking up amidst all the pressure we have indoctrinated ourselves to in HSC for the sake of ‘grinding’ and ‘doing better’, which don’t produce the result in the long run.
Most people who run a race think they aren’t going to make it compared to all the others. But the ones who run the race focusing on themselves, and what they can do, are the ones who win the competition.
Want to discuss with our state-ranking tutors how they got in control of their wellbeing? Reach out to Concept at https://www.concepteducation.com.au/enquire or email us at admin@concepteducation.com.au - we're always happy to help!
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